I was working last night in the adult ER and I had a moment of sheer exasperation. As the soundtrack of the ER swirled quickly around me...intoxicated patients screaming obsenities to their nurse in the next room, tired babies howling on the laps of their mothers, techs pushing strechers filled with the carnage of Denvers midnight street crime...I had a second (okay a minute), the audacity to think that everyone should just quiet down so I could concentrate. Embarassingly, at 3am, I tapped my foot, crossed my arms, closed my eyes...and then it hit me. Or rather...she hit me. Literally. Paramedics rolled in with my new patient and clipped my smugness with their stretcher on the way back to the bed. (I'd like to think this was a sweet reminder from my very honest God ;)
I had to laugh to myself - or better at myself as I walked to greet this new woman in bed 8. Sweet "Grace" is as charming as they come. Crippled by a disease called MS, this patient and anxious woman looked at me with trusting eyes and the reality of my job came rushing back to me like a wide-lense close up on the big screen. I had a decision to make. My attitude and patience were to be choices that night as I helped this woman, for the next 4 hours, in and out of her diapers, stretching her stiff knees and elbows that caused her pain, and hanging bag after bag of fluids that would rehydrate the body that holds her captive. Last night was a very very busy night in the ER and caring for Grace made it tough to keep up with the rest of my sick patients. We have choices to make when we are at our worst. Grace's pleading eyes and gentle demeanor prodded me to make the right choice at 3am and at 4, 5, and 6.
What do we think the future looks like for us and the people we love the most? Grace has two twin boys - 14 years old. What would she have pictured today to look like 14years ago? Things are never the way they "should be." They forever remain the way they are and we make the choices that matter. Grace treated every person who entered her room with respect, kindness, and abundant patience. There was not a drop of bitter in her trusting eyes. What do we do with the life we live everyday? What we choose affects the people we share life with. In the end, I have to believe this is what we'll remember.
1 comment:
Well Ne, sometimes I do think everyone should quiet down so those who are trying to help them can concentrate. But I guess that is the point of what you were saying, it is easy to have opinions about how it should be, and as it turns out, maybe especially in our common setting of the ER, it is NEVER as I think it should be...but I think we might have known that was what we were signing up for. And it truly is amazing how someone like Grace can walk, or in this case, roll into our lives for a few hours and completely slap sense into us...in the most graceful way. I love you Ne.
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